Fear descends

Race day is three weeks from Sunday, meaning the end is in sight.

Clearly, I’m terrified.

It’s not that I think I won’t finish. It’s the weight of the expectations that have silently been piling up in my mind. It’s the only possible downside to training going well: I may say I don’t care how I finish, but if I’m being honest, if I don’t post a time for this race that reflects all my hard training runs, I’m going to be very, very disappointed.

Complicating matters is the fact that we’re pondering a ski trip to Lake Tahoe the week before the half marathon on March 21. It’s the only week that makes sense to take this trip, and it’s coming together beautifully so far. I know — everyone feels really, really sorry for me for having to be in this VERY difficult situation. Tahoe would be — will be — awesome, but I’m faced with the fact that there’s no way I can ski hard for a few days, take a cross-country flight and hop off and run a perfect half marathon.

Enter the backup race. I’ve added the Pacers Running Festival Half Marathon on May 10 to my race list. I’ll still run my heart out on March 21, but I’ll know I have another chance if I don’t meet my own mounting expectations.

Training log for the day: Historical Linden/Seminary 5.1 mile loop, which is quickly becoming my favorite Pacers route, last night; swim day today.

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